The Tiny People who STOLE my Blog

Here is a very brief explanation of why I haven't been posting here in SO long:

Babies.

Twelve babies.

I now have twelve babies.


..........


Well more specifically I started working in a childcare centre at the beginning of the year. The time where my life used to revolve around the internet has now been taken over by caring for a bunch of tiny people.

So it's all their fault really.


.........


I probably shouldn't make any promises right now, but more posts will be coming some time THIS year! More about job, my cat and cereal coming soon.

The Jerk of Christmas Past

There is no time I hate my past self more than when I’m unpacking Christmas decor.

I become certain that THIS time everything will be packed away in a neat and orderly fashion.

But by mid January I know what will really happen.

Merry Christmas!

The Life of a Piñata

A few weeks ago I celebrated my 18^th birthday with a dinosaur themed party. So a few days before hand I got to work creating a piñata.

I read a few guides but for the most part it was improvised.

As it started to take shape I got more and more attached to the dinosaur.

I think it was around the decorating part that I decided her name was Jane. This was probably my greatest error - never EVER name a piñata.

Finally the day of the party arrived and Jane had come to life. Unfortunately it had rained all morning and we had nowhere to string her up.

Jane’s future was uncertain but she was blissfully unaware. She was just happy to be part of the party.

It was several hours into the night before we finally found a solution and the piñata was hung in the door way.

Jane was a little bewildered. She didn’t know what she was doing here or why everyone was suddenly so focused on her.

Everyone insisted I make the first blow. It wasn’t easy; I’ll never forget the look of betrayal in Jane’s vacant eyes.

Other guests took their turn to bash the innocent dinosaur but she would not break. The giant bone snapped before she did.

Jane fell to the ground but still she would not break.

She was beaten, stabbed and clobbered until finally...

LOLLIES!

I still have the detached head of Jane sitting on my bookshelf. Her one eye still watching me and asking why.

Things that shouldn't scare me

1. The Dark

I am 17 years old yet sometimes I still do the thing where I turn off the light switch, run and leap into bed.

    

2.Mannequins

Something about mannequins has always unnerved me. Sometimes I'll be walking through a shopping centre and I'll see a very tall well dressed person through the corner of my eye when suddenly...

The ones that aren't missing limbs or heads are not much better. Either they'll have a fierce and mutated face or no face at all.

3.Giant Squids

I have to admit giant squids themselves actually are quite scary. Think of a giant tentacle monster, with soulless eyes and a huge crushing beak that lives in the darkest depths of the ocean.

...or some poorly monitored public swimming pools

I shouldn't be scared of them for the same reason I'm not scared of grizzly bears- I'm very unlikely to ever encounter one. But every time I think about being on the same planet as one of these creatures I make a large donation to NASA to fund finding planets able to support human life.

4.Potato Sprouts

The others may be a bit silly or immature but this one is just plain weird.

As you may or may not know; when you leave potatoes in the pantry for too long they'll start growing weird sprout thingies. Poisonous sprouts.

I won't go into too much detail about the circumstances but sometime last year my mother was away for a few weeks and I was left in charge of half of the house. Dishes piled up and food expired so one fateful day I opened the cupboard to fetch some potatoes and instead discovered mutant alien monsters.

After weeks of neglect they'd grown to about 30cm long- and I had to clean them up. So I did the most logical thing, put on gloves and scream hysterically every time one of the sprouts touched me.

Potato = yum.  Potato with sprouts= death

I hadn't known until this day I was even uncomfortable with potatoes growing things but as soon as I saw them something in my brain just snapped. The way the sprouts seemed to move and sway without influence, like they had a mind of their own.

5.Talking on the Phone

This fear tops the rest of them by far. I absolutely dread talking on the phone. I'd rather have a dark party with mannequins and giant squids serving potatoes with sprouts than call customer service.

I already struggle with talking to people face to face but put a phone in-between us and the terror is timed by a hundred. Because in real life conversations silences are sometimes okay. If we run out of interesting things to say we can look at clouds, pull weird faces or pretend to text.

On the phone, in my mind at least, any silences are absolutely NOT okay.

Talking to strangers is the worst. I never answer the home phone if I'm home alone and if a private number or one I don't recognize comes up on my phone I often just let it ring out watching in horror.

I wish I could say talking to people I know is easy but I still get quite nervous even around friends I've known for years. When we first started dating my boyfriend suggested calling me. I was so scared I wanted to throw my phone out window. Now I do enjoy our phone conversations but not everyone is as easy to talk to as him.

Perhaps the worst thing about this fear is that it's a normal part of life and not many other people (that I know of) find this at all unpleasant or challenging. And I can't see myself getting over it anytime soon.

Top 10 Tips to Stop Procrastinating

1. Stop reading this blog post and go do something right now.

2. Come back to this post whenever you start procrastinating

3. See 1.

4. See 1.

5. See 1.

6. See 1.

7. See 1.

8. See 1.

9. See 1.

10. Also watch this video: Tough Love

The People of Gosford

For schoolies I stayed at my friend Jean's holiday house in Gosford with five other school friends for one night. Except none of us have completed school yet so it was more of a "pre-schoolies". But it was no ordinary sleepover, the place was a long train trip and a seemingly longer walk away. There were no adults- and you know what that means!!!

Establish firm ground rules about cleaning house and set out to go grocery shopping.

Jean's holiday house was very nice, I'll admit, but venturing outside was a mistake. The first thing we noticed is that there are no people in Gosford. None. Some sort of apocalypse occurred that we weren't notified of leaving us an entire town to ourselves.

Okay, I exaggerate. I'm from the city. There were very few people and those people were not very diverse in their kinds. The elderly were certainly at a majority, the few young ones being their grandchildren. The only people around our age we spotted were a couple in the food court who looked ready to stab anyone who made eye contact.

And Gosford people were not like city people. Lauren and I went to an Asian takeaway place for lunch. There were ready main containers of food, some with rice and some without both costing five dollars. A pretty simple concept to grasp and a pretty good deal too.

But apparently not for the woman in front of us. She argued with the lady behind the counter about this, she needed to know WHY they were the same price. "But one has more food!" she insisted perhaps not realising that rice was actually edible. This went on for a good five minutes before she finally bought a lot of stuff and got out of the way.

After lunch we went shopping for chocolate milk and other essentials which we fitted mostly into a suitcase but still had to carry some bags on the long trek back to the house. And that's when it happened, we were just seven unassuming teenage girls standing at an intersection with our food items and while driving past a guy leaned out of his car window and barked at us like a dog.

It took a few moments to sink in what had happened but I don't think I'll ever really understand. I can only guess that everyone in Gosford is a slight werewolf and teenagers holding groceries must look like cats.

At the end of the day the people I want to remember most in Gosford are my friends...

SHUT UP I KNOW IT'S CHEESY BUT-

I don't care, we made our own pies for dinner like pros (okay we may have not finished cooking until 10pm...) and donuts for breakfast like healthy people. No number of crazy barking men could ruin this trip.

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